Archives For April 2014


Although they happen hundreds of times every day, we don’t put much thought into our thought defaults; the place we immediately go in our minds when an event, situation or conversation takes place in our business. But thought defaults are alive and well in our minds and they tend to weave themselves into a repetitive pattern regardless of circumstance. The question is whether the pattern enhances our position, or begins to confuse and sabotage it. Does it begin to take control of us, or do we take control of it? Benjamin Zander takes common mistakes we make and shares the idea that mistakes or obstacles we create or encounter in life don’t need to be instantly debilitating; they can be undeniably fascinating. He goes on to convey that the supportive attributes found in looking at adversity though the lens of curiosity are vast, and that our defaults can view trouble as an opportunity regardless of size or scope, and as a platform for innovation, not anxiety. Fascinating to say the least. Brilliant? Absolutely! In my book ShiftPoints, I tweak the word “Add”versity. I accentuate the word “add,” because there are rarely books, therapy, seminars or otherwise that can add more value than when we choose to see walls as steps and trials as gain. But it does require the default of skepticism or stress be replaced with optimism coupled with innovation. Focus on the solution today, not the problem.


Whenever a problem hits, we can either go it alone and risk suffering in our own bandwidth of knowledge and experience or we can open up conversations with those we trust and expand our options. Of course it takes a bit of courage to share that we’ve missed it, dropped the ball, fell short, flat screwed up, or are simply in a jam. But when you consider the pain of staying in the hole we’re in versus bouncing out of it in short order, the pain or discomfort for a bit of transparency seems a small price to pay. But does the advice we get make it worth the effort? In some cases yes, in most cases, not really. Truth be told, benefitting from advice has little to do with what comes from the outside in, but what happens from the inside out. The humility it takes to ask for advice has great capacity to unlock our mind to think more freely on matters; even freely enough to make sense of any advice we are getting – good or bad. Just the process of sharing the truth with others brings an acuteness to our perspective that didn’t exist before the sharing. The sharing is the “working it out” if you will; releasing any strongholds we have and loosening the grip that impairs us from seeing the bigger picture. It’s in the sharing that clarity makes itself known and makes the process contending with issue that much easier and more efficient. Consider getting some feedback on something you’re going through today.


We all have at least one thing we’ve been wanting to do. Shelved, postponed, in-limbo or whatever the reason or excuse, goals like writing, art, hiking, joining a club, building something or starting something are collecting dust in such volume they can barely be seen. Now look at your calendar. Not enough time is there! Or is there? A quick look at current time expenditures and you’ll see there are things that are taking, but more like robbing you of time to do something more meaningful… you know – that thing. If you take a moment to design your life from the end of it backwards, you’ll see there is only so much time left. A quick study of the time remaining can have you looking at your current time allocation with a level of urgency that will motivate rearranging the blocks of time, but only if you look. I used to think I had all the time in the world. The truth is, my world has 30, maybe 40 years left. That demanded a conversation for something I’d shelved for a brief time – my writing. Hadn’t touched it for a season or two, but of course I saw the TV series Suits, an obvious “add” to my life. NOT! For me the replacement was some TV time for some writing time; an easy switch, especially after the first piece was completed. And now it’s hard to imagine going back. Consider something meaningful to replace something meaningless today.


April 9, 2014


Notice the word “con” in inconsistency. Now consider how conned you feel when those around you Continue Reading…